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Blog blog.
What do dreams mean really? Are they simply a playground for the mind while the body is unconscious or is there more to them? Some people believe they are the essence of truth…the truth according to the dreamer. They are our unspoken desires, masked motivations. There are books, websites, even professions dedicated to the interpretation of them. I would like to believe they hold the key to my inner self or at least provide a peek. I have difficulty figuring myself out and find it infinitely easier to analyze my dreamscape than my reality. I have incredibly vivid realistic dreams. They often have a beginning, middle and end which I’m told is unusual. That’s not to say that UNusual things don’t happen. They do. Every time I run in a dream I start on my two legs then drop down to use my arms as well. I can really haul ass that way, using my legs I go at a snail’s pace. I have lots of recurring characteristics. I have superhuman strength, always. When fighting in a dream I generally swing people by their hair and beat them against the ground repeatedly. Brutal right? Well in my dreams they’re definitely the bad guys. No matter what role I’m in, I’m always me. I may look different at times but I’m always the me I know myself to be and I generally look fantastic. Hey, it’s MY dream. Also, I’m never without my baby. Of course that’s only been since I had her but ever since, she’s with me even in dreamland although sometimes I’m searching for her. I have one recurring dream although it’s been awhile since the last one. I lose all my teeth, bit by crackling little bit while looking into a filthy mirror in a filthier bathroom. I spit them out into a blood coated sink and stare horrified at myself. Not looking so fantastic in that one. According to the website http://www.dreammoods.com it means this: “One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxieties about your appearance and how others perceive you.” Perhaps I’m just not as concerned about that anymore..good.
What I really hope is true about dreams is that they are REAL. An actual dimension for our innermost selves to explore and be genuinely free. A space where we can meet with other dreamers and interact in a way that’s clearly impossible in our body-bound reality. That would be, magic. Dreams would be QUITE meaningful if this were the case. Think about it…when your spirit’s set free, what does it choose to do? Without inhibitions, without physical or mental limitations, without consequences…what would you do, who would spend your time with?
What do you think? Do dreams really mean anything or is a cigar just a cigar?
In honor of Mother’s Day, this mommy is going to take this time while her little monkey is sleeping soundly to kickback and read a bit before going to bed early. I enjoy blogging but tonight I really just want to dive into this new thriller I started and get into someone else’s writing instead of writing myself.
So HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all you beautiful super-mamas out there in blogville. You are what makes the world go round!!
The guidos are making their way to the motherland. Am I happy about this? Sure, why not? Everyone has the desire to explore their roots and although two of the cast members aren’t of Italian heritage, they were brought up in the Italian/American culture so whatever. I was a follower of the show for the first couple of seasons. It was hard not to find the antics amusing and I often related to the debauchery that took place. Oh the partying this mama did once upon a time…. About half way into the third season I just couldn’t stomach it any longer. It was the same thing day in, day out. After a while it just got too predictable. Oh, there they go to the club. And yes, there’s Snooki getting wasted. Jenni’s boobs are still anti-gravity. Ron and Sammi are fighting. Vinny’s, well, Vinny. Pauly’s being the nice guy of the situation and the Situation himself is being a douche. Sorry Sitch, you’re just a bit full of yourself for my taste.
I think you could put any group of people together in a house and get the public to watch. Maybe some groups would last longer than others but my point is that looking into someone else’s personal life is intriguing. Through television we’re able to see strangers interact, grow friendly, start to resent, forgive, get intimate, punch each other. It’s a human circus and people love it. Any of us who watch it, we’re all just big peeping Toms with the consent of the cast and program producers. Pervs.
Anyway, I’ve no idea where in Italy they’ll be filming but I’m assuming it’ll be in one of the bigger cities. I just can’t see them all trying to make their way around a small medieval town in their bling, silicon, hair gel and Ed Hardy asking in ENGLISH where the nearest nightclub is. Although that would be awesome and I’d DEFINITELY be tuning in. I wonder if they’ve heard the term “culture shock” because they’re in for it.
I’m not against eating meat. I love anything I can throw on the grill and generally take my steaks a little bloody. I’m a total carnivore or at least omni-. Giving up meat is something I’ve never really given serious thought until now. I just watched a video on the horrors of todays farming methods. It’s taken 10 minutes for me to stop the tears enough to write this. It was disgusting, heart breaking. I had an extremely hard time watching it but forced myself to. The cruelty is inhuman, incredibly vicious. I think that eating meat is natural for human beings but I also believe there’s a way to do it using a method that shows respect and compassion. Sure, some wild animals will rip throats out and gnaw on the faces of their prey while they’re still making sounds but that’s different. Beating a calf in the face and stomping on their heads, that’s not animal instinct. That’s…God I don’t KNOW what that is but it made me sick. If I could take a cow out, as painlessly as possible, divide the meat, tan the hide and really be grateful for what I had, that would be ideal. I don’t know if I can stomach meat that was treated the way I saw in that video. There were disturbing clips on poultry farms as well as fishing boats. Somehow the piggies and cows made the biggest impact on me. Is it shitty of me that my heart doesn’t break for fish and chickens? Well actually, I saw horrible things happen to little baby chicks. I swear that only an evil person could do what they did. How could you harm a sweet little chick?? All fluffy and adorable. Farming couldn’t always have been this way. I have always wanted a small farm of my own. Nothing that produced products for the masses but one with a few chickens for eggs, a cow for milk and piggies just because they’re so stinkin’ cute (and smart, so they say). Now I’d like it more than ever just to be able to save a few animals from the nightmare that is your mass production farm. If you’re curious about this video and want to check it out please do so knowing that it’s a gut wrenching piece. I highly recommend that you just take my word for it, it’s awful. If you’re at all sensitive, don’t watch. I feel very disturbed now having seen it. If you STILL want to see it, it’s here
How do you feel?
I saw this on another blogger’s post and thought it was highly interesting and decided to use it myself. So here we go:
1. My right shoulder dislocates. Some of my friends know this (as well as a few sparring partners from kickboxing) as they’ve had to pop it back in for me. It’s excruciating but once it’s back in place, I’m perfectly fine.
2. I get car sick. It started while I was pregnant and has never left me. Apparently my daughter does as well, she lost her lunch all over the back seat last weekend as we made our way up a curvy mountain road….poor little monkey.
3. I did a tandem skydive (skydiving while strapped to the front of a professional) once and will never do it again. It was terrifying, although I ended up being a pretty good partner and they used my video at a skydiving promotion in Kentucky. Woo hoo!
4. I love to sing. I can’t carry a tune but I’ll still belt it out at the top of my lungs….when alone.
5. I don’t have a favorite color. I’d like to, I even try to but they’re all the same to me.
6. My biggest fear is death. Mine and the people around me.
7. Lilies are my favorite flower.
8. I’m totally uneducated. I wanted so badly to go to a great University and be somebody but it just didn’t work out that way. I’ve tried to self educate along the way and think I’ve done a fairly good job. Don’t test me though.
9. I attempted to write a book and stopped after about 5 pages. Knowing that I had an entire book ahead of me made the writing sound forced. I tossed it and took up blogging instead.
10. I have a really hard time making friends. I always have. I hate to say it but it must be something about me, I’m the common denominator. The friends I do have though are fantastic.
11. I suffer from severe wanderlust. I want to see EVERYTHING.
12. I’m the world’s worst speller. Strange, since I love to read and write but it’s true. I have to spell check everything, even emails.
13. I have a cheese addiction. The stinkier the better.
14. I love the smell of a match just lit.
15. I’ve always wanted to be an actress. I think I’m past my prime at this point.
16. I value personality way more than good looks….but being rich helps 😉
17. I’m a crappy runner.
18. I really dislike playing board games. I can eventually get into it if it’s the only thing going on but I’d really rather share a drink and chat.
19. Groups of teenaged kids make me nervous. I’m really not sure why.
20. I adore the rain, even more so if there’s thunder! I’m still waiting for the big springtime thunderstorms to hit Italy.
21. I make killer meatballs. Seriously, they’re awesome.
22. Same as with colors, I don’t have a favorite food. Really, how can I choose? Eating good food is one of my favorite things!
23. Ever since the movie “23” with Jim Carrey, I look at the number differently and make note of it whenever I see it.
24. During a foot race in the 2nd grade I pulled the shirt of the girl who was beating me because I didn’t want to lose. What a little shit I was!
25. Coming up with 25 things about myself was more difficult than I expected.
Do you believe in them? I simply can’t understand how it’s possible. I’m admittedly ignorant to many topics, including science. At least to the degree that talk of dark matter and time travel evokes mere speculation rather than any kind of concrete knowledge. I enjoy pondering scientific conundrums but haven’t really had a desire to do any hard research in the field. Perhaps I should start because recently I’ve had questions that have surely been asked about our existence and been hypothesized, scrutinized, finalized by others and posted here on the world wide web. A need to look into parallel universes is absolutely growing in my curious little self. You see, the thing is this, how can there be another (or infinite other) universes out there all inhabited by a me of sorts. Not the me of here and now but numerous me’s of similar traits but with lives altered, graced, cursed, taken, rewarded by different sets of varied circumstances. I mean, I understand the idea but when I start asking questions about its probability, it gets fuzzy for me. For instance, say my mom decided to go out with friends instead of the new sailor she met. My parents never fall in love, never get married, and are never blessed with the bundle of sunshine that is baby Erin. Then I cease to exist and in that universe there is no me. So I don’t exist in EVERY universe. Perhaps I don’t exist in ANY of them but this one. So they’re not exactly “parallel”, are they? You could apply this to any two people who ever procreated and you’d have a world whose populous differs from the universe it’s supposed to parallel. You see my problem? I’m sure someone has an answer for this. Maybe in these other worlds everyone is still born to the same parents but does that mean that all of our selves die at the same time in each universe too? Because that would cause some problems as well. In one world I drown at 15, in another I live to be 100 and have 10 kids bringing into life a babies who have no other parallel existence. So help me out here science geeks. I’m not debating whether or not parallel universes exist, I just want to know how.
This is a poem I wrote for my husband our second Christmas together. I wasn’t working so funds were low. I put it in a cheap silver frame and a gave it to him as a gift with a handmade card. He loved it. I think more because it was from the heart than anything else. We were married only 9 months so everything was still new and sparkly 🙂 Ahh newlyweds…..
I love you Ti amo 我愛你 Ik houd van u Je t’aime Ich liebe Dich
From utter elation to days of deep sorrow
I know that you’ll be there
For you are my heart, my life, my joy, my love
You are the renewed hope in my long lost prayer
Nothing’s as beautiful as the love in your eyes
When you are holding me
Your devotion is saving me from myself
You’re the warmth of the sun in my arctic sea
There is no darker moment than one without you
You’re my sense of wonder
You’re the light I follow to passion and bliss
You’re the soothing rain to my enraged thunder
You’re the greatest adventure I’ll ever know
Heaven’s grace bestowed on me
You have filled my life with color, song and charm
As my heart’s love is a lock, you are the key
Σας αγαπώ 私は愛するEu te amo 나는 너를 사랑한다 Я люблю вас
Above and below the poem is written “I love you” in various languages. This is the only poem I’ve ever written and, to me, it sounds a little immature but hey, it’s mine. My husband really appreciated it and now it sits on his nightstand. Love you Bib
I used to believe in magic. Everything in my little girl mind was made of it, dripped it, infected me with it. I remember being 5 years old and diving right into a cartoon reality, right next to Bugs Bunny and the Smurfs. I truly believed I lived in their world for the duration of the show. I was so involved mentally in what I was watching that it was as if it were all around me, their two dimensional world of sound effects and impossible physical manuevers. It was, well, awesome. This ability wasn’t limited to the silliness of cartoons, no. I also recall deep, paralyzing fear as I watched Nightmare on Elm Street thinking, “If I even BLINK, Freddie will see me…ssshhhhhhhhh….”. There was one evening in particular when I remember not wanting to be seen as I enjoyed my programming so I piled all of my little stuffed friends on every available inch of the black recliner I was to sit in, leaving a me-sized hole in the center. I climbed in my hole backwards, nestling my little tushy into the chair, surrounding my self with the courage of fluffy bunnies and dolls. Just to be sure I wasn’t seen, I carried with me a large bear to set before my hole after I climbed in. To look at that scene I might have appeared to be just another little inanimate face amongst them all.
There was magic everywhere, not least of all in nature. I remember the trees and how they looked to me to be moving themselves, not being moved by the wind. They seemed alive, communicative even. They wanted me around and I loved being there. I saw fairies out the corner of my eye, clouds with personal messages for me, birds singing the songs I had in my head. It was all so amazing. Life. Nature still has a way with me. It’s why my most dear wish is to have a bit of land to call my own. I won’t have it forever as nothing can rightly be called mine that is of the earth but to have a little spot to sit on while I’m here would make me a very happy woman. Plant a tree on that spot and I’d be in heaven.
I believed in good and evil, witches both good and bad, vampires, dragons, angels, fairy godmothers, and the impossible. I miss being a little girl and I’m so lucky to have my own baby girl to guide through enchanted forests, protect against villains, and build castles for. Helping her keep her belief in the magical alive.
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