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My “Bucket List”

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So I guess we’ve all got one whether we’ve put down on paper or not. We all know those things we’d like to do before we “kick the bucket”.  Here are mine:

1. Experience olympian-type physical fitness. I just want to know what it feels like for my body to be running at its optimum level… how humans are supposed to live.

2. Adopt a spider monkey and name him Ampersand after the one in the comic ‘Y The Last Man’. I’m certain he will be so well-trained that at some point he’ll save my life or, at the very least, keep me wildly entertained.

3. Run a marathon. I guess just to know I’m able. I think there’s a lot of psychological endurance in marathon runners as well as physical stamina.

4. Hold my grandchild. This one’s not up to me but it’s still something I’d like to do before I die.

5. Get a degree….in anything. I just want to say, “SEE! I can’t SPELL but I can sure as hell LEARN!”

6. Go to an archeological dig anywhere in the world. I’d be happy if I found a little bowl or something. I wonder what the future generations might find from my home?

7. Go to every continent. I’d LIKE to go to every country but I just don’t know if that’ll be possible without a BOAT LOAD of cash.

8. Make a BOAT LOAD of cash.

9. Publish ANYTHING.

10. Become such a great cook that I’ll have no more use for my cookbooks.

11. Buy a home…with a tree.

12. Learn to play my guitar. It’s currently in another country, sitting in the basement of my mother’s house. I guess that one will take some time. Who am I kidding?? ALL of these are going to take some time!

13. Buy a boat…with a captain.

14. Take that boat through every available water way.

15. Go through the Amazon with Bear Grylls! Yeeeesss!

16. Take an Alaskan cruise and watch the whales.

17. Eat Indian food in India.

18. Master another language. I can hardly say I’m fluent in Italian even though I live in Italy. It’s HARD man! One day I’ll get it but for now I’m more at intermediate level.

19. Eat one of those $200 hamburgers here: http://sillymillions.com/worlds-most-expensive-hamburger   Oh man, I’m hungry just looking at that juicy goodness..mmmmmmmmmm

20. Obtain some kind of life time pass for a first class seat on every flight I take. Seriously, the difference is HUGE….WORLDS apart, I’m telling you.

21. Have a little mini farm. Some chickens for eggs, a cow for milk and cheese (hey! I’ve milked a cow before! Pfffft! This chick gets things DONE), some lambies just because they’re sweet, a collie (right? what other dog belongs on a farm?), and a barn so I can jump out the loft onto a pile of hay.

22. Go snorkeling in Australia.

23. Be happy.

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Goodbye Post-A-Week Challenge…

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..and HELLOOOO Post-A-WEEK Challenge! As you can see from my last post, blogging had become less than enjoyable for me. It’s primarily because when I HAVE to write, it just doesn’t feel good. It did at first but I think that’s simply because writing ANYthing felt good but it soon became an obligation instead of an interest and that just wasn’t working for me. So in short, I’ve failed! I am taking up the Post-A-Week but won’t be setting any particular day or hour for writing each post. It’ll happen whenever it happens and I’m fairly sure that once a week SOMEthing will, in fact, HAPPEN. I will for today make use of the topic suggestion for all challenge takers which is…

If your house were on fire, what would you grab first?

I’m going to assume that you all know my first thought would be to scoop up my little stinker. That’s a given. I’m also not going to consider a rope ladder from the balcony as something I’d grab. Although I totally need to buy one of these as I’m in a 3rd floor apartment. So escape equipment and cheeky monkeys aside, I would grab the external hard drives. We’ve got 3 now and they’re filled with all our photos, home videos, music and movies. They’re easy to carry and hold so much of our lives on them. Eva’s first day home, her first laugh (I love that we caught it on tape!), our wedding, the music and movies we’ve enjoyed together. The flat screen would be missed as well as the Wii but I wouldn’t get emotional about them. If I lost all the documentation of our lives together as a family, I’d be devastated.

The Meaning of Dreams

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What do dreams mean really? Are they simply a playground for the mind while the body is unconscious or is there more to them? Some people believe they are the essence of truth…the truth according to the dreamer. They are our unspoken desires, masked motivations. There are books, websites, even professions dedicated to the interpretation of them. I would like to believe they hold the key to my inner self or at least provide a peek. I have difficulty figuring myself out and find it infinitely easier to analyze my dreamscape than my reality. I have incredibly vivid realistic dreams. They often have a beginning, middle and end which I’m told is unusual. That’s not to say that UNusual things don’t happen. They do. Every time I run in a dream I start on my two legs then drop down to use my arms as well. I can really haul ass that way, using my legs I go at a snail’s pace. I have lots of recurring characteristics. I have superhuman strength, always. When fighting in a dream I generally swing people by their hair and beat them against the ground repeatedly. Brutal right? Well in my dreams they’re definitely the bad guys. No matter what role I’m in, I’m always me. I may look different at times but I’m always the me I know myself to be and I generally look fantastic. Hey, it’s MY dream. Also, I’m never without my baby. Of course that’s only been since I had her but ever since, she’s with me even in dreamland although sometimes I’m searching for her. I have one recurring dream although it’s been awhile since the last one. I lose all my teeth, bit by crackling little bit while looking into a filthy mirror in a filthier bathroom. I spit them out into a blood coated sink and stare horrified at myself. Not looking so fantastic in that one. According to the website http://www.dreammoods.com it means this: “One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxieties about your appearance and how others perceive you.” Perhaps I’m just not as concerned about that anymore..good.

What I really hope is true about dreams is that they are REAL. An actual dimension for our innermost selves to explore and be genuinely free. A space where we can meet with other dreamers and interact in a way that’s clearly impossible in our body-bound reality. That would be, magic. Dreams would be QUITE meaningful if this were the case. Think about it…when your spirit’s set free, what does it choose to do? Without inhibitions, without physical or mental limitations, without consequences…what would you do, who would spend your time with?

What do you think? Do dreams really mean anything or is a cigar just a cigar?

Can I be a VEGAN??

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I’m not against eating meat. I love anything I can throw on the grill and generally take my steaks a little bloody. I’m a total carnivore or at least omni-. Giving up meat is something I’ve never really given serious thought until now. I just watched a video on the horrors of todays farming methods. It’s taken 10 minutes for me to stop the tears enough to write this. It was disgusting, heart breaking. I had an extremely hard time watching it but forced myself to. The cruelty is inhuman, incredibly vicious. I think that eating meat is natural for human beings but I also believe there’s a way to do it using a method that shows respect and compassion. Sure, some wild animals will rip throats out and gnaw on the faces of their prey while they’re still making sounds but that’s different. Beating a calf in the face and stomping on their heads, that’s not animal instinct. That’s…God I don’t KNOW what that is but it made me sick. If I could take a cow out, as painlessly as possible, divide the meat, tan the hide and really be grateful for what I had, that would be ideal. I don’t know if I can stomach meat that was treated the way I saw in that video. There were disturbing clips on poultry farms as well as fishing boats. Somehow the piggies and cows made the biggest impact on me. Is it shitty of me that my heart doesn’t break for fish and chickens? Well actually, I saw horrible things happen to little baby chicks. I swear that only an evil person could do what they did. How could you harm a sweet little chick?? All fluffy and adorable. Farming couldn’t always have been this way. I have always wanted a small farm of my own. Nothing that produced products for the masses but one with a few chickens for eggs, a cow for milk and piggies just because they’re so stinkin’ cute (and smart, so they say). Now I’d like it more than ever just to be able to save a few animals from the nightmare that is your mass production farm. If you’re curious about this video and want to check it out please do so knowing that it’s a gut wrenching piece. I highly recommend that you just take my word for it, it’s awful. If you’re at all sensitive, don’t watch. I feel very disturbed now having seen it. If you STILL want to see it, it’s here 

How do you feel?

25 Things you don’t know about me

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I saw this on another blogger’s post and thought it was highly interesting and decided to use it myself. So here we go:

1. My right shoulder dislocates. Some of my friends know this (as well as a few sparring partners from kickboxing) as they’ve had to pop it back in for me. It’s excruciating but once it’s back in place, I’m perfectly fine.

2. I get car sick. It started while I was pregnant and has never left me. Apparently my daughter does as well, she lost her lunch all over the back seat last weekend as we made our way up a curvy mountain road….poor little monkey.

3. I did a tandem skydive (skydiving while strapped to the front of a professional) once and will never do it again. It was terrifying, although I ended up being a pretty good partner and they used my video at a skydiving promotion in Kentucky. Woo hoo!

4. I love to sing. I can’t carry a tune but I’ll still belt it out at the top of my lungs….when alone.

5. I don’t have a favorite color. I’d like to, I even try to but they’re all the same to me.

6. My biggest fear is death. Mine and the people around me.

7. Lilies are my favorite flower.

8. I’m totally uneducated. I wanted so badly to go to a great University and be somebody but it just didn’t work out that way. I’ve tried to self educate along the way and think I’ve done a fairly good job. Don’t test me though.

9. I attempted to write a book and stopped after about 5 pages. Knowing that I had an entire book ahead of me made the writing sound forced. I tossed it and took up blogging instead.

10. I have a really hard time making friends. I always have. I hate to say it but it must be something about me, I’m the common denominator. The friends I do have though are fantastic.

11. I suffer from severe wanderlust. I want to see EVERYTHING.

12. I’m the world’s worst speller. Strange, since I love to read and write but it’s true. I have to spell check everything, even emails.

13. I have a cheese addiction. The stinkier the better.

14. I love the smell of a match just lit.

15. I’ve always wanted to be an actress. I think I’m past my prime at this point.

16. I value personality way more than good looks….but being rich helps 😉

17. I’m a crappy runner.

18. I really dislike playing board games. I can eventually get into it if it’s the only thing going on but I’d really rather share a drink and chat.

19. Groups of teenaged kids make me nervous. I’m really not sure why.

20. I adore the rain, even more so if there’s thunder! I’m still waiting for the big springtime thunderstorms to hit Italy.

21. I make killer meatballs. Seriously, they’re awesome.

22. Same as with colors, I don’t have a favorite food. Really, how can I choose? Eating good food is one of my favorite things!

23. Ever since the movie “23” with Jim Carrey, I look at the number differently and make note of it whenever I see it.

24. During a foot race in the 2nd grade I pulled the shirt of the girl who was beating me because I didn’t want to lose. What a little shit I was!

25. Coming up with 25 things about myself was more difficult than I expected.

The Honeymoon Phase-A Poem

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This is a poem I wrote for my husband our second Christmas together. I wasn’t working so funds were low. I put it in a cheap silver frame and a gave it to him as a gift with a handmade card. He loved it. I think more because it was from the heart than anything else. We were married only 9 months so everything was still new and sparkly 🙂 Ahh newlyweds…..

I love you Ti amo 我愛你 Ik houd van u Je t’aime Ich liebe Dich

                      From utter elation to days of deep sorrow

I know that you’ll be there

For you are my heart, my life, my joy, my love

You are the renewed hope in my long lost prayer

Nothing’s as beautiful as the love in your eyes

When you are holding me

Your devotion is saving me from myself

You’re the warmth of the sun in my arctic sea

There is no darker moment than one without you

You’re my sense of wonder

You’re the light I follow to passion and bliss

You’re the soothing rain to my enraged thunder

You’re the greatest adventure I’ll ever know

Heaven’s grace bestowed on me

You have filled my life with color, song and charm

As my heart’s love is a lock, you are the key

                                                                       Σας αγαπώ  私は愛するEu te amo  나는 너를 사랑한다 Я люблю вас

Above and below the poem is written “I love you” in various languages. This is the only poem I’ve ever written and, to me, it sounds a little immature but hey, it’s mine. My husband really appreciated it and now it sits on his nightstand. Love you Bib

Post-A-Week Photo Challenge Topic: Round

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I really need to turn off that time stamp. I like having it there for family photos so I know exactly when they were taken (and WILL know in the future) but for stuff like this it just looks bad. I still like the photo though and am using the arch of the branches as my interpretation of  “round”. This was a path that led all through a forest and down along this lake:

It was a lovely day 🙂

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