Do you ever have the feeling you’re not at all where you should be? If it weren’t for the perfection of my little monkey I would be thinking I’d taken a wrong turn in Albuquerque. I think it has a lot to do with trying to feel at home in another country. I don’t know how so many people are able to do it. Able to find their place among all the…foreigness. Sometimes I wish I could just pack up and head home, tonight is one of those times. It’s not that I’m unable to be away from my family and friends. That part does get difficult but it’s more about just being home. Nowhere outside of America feels quite like home to me. I’ve never really been too patriotic, not caring much for politics but I do know that I miss the way the sky looks in Western America, how the feeling of infancy as a country brought a sense that everything was possible. Here, the sun doesn’t hit the leaves in the same way, the birds’ song-unusual. Here it’s just…different. I wasn’t raised here, consequently I have no memories here or at least very few. Having given birth to my baby here helped a lot with my feelings of displacement. Wherever she is, there is love. But every now and again I want to have her with me where I grew up, where I remember celebrating holidays with the people who know me best. My family. My friends. I know that years will pass and wherever I am it will feel more and more like home. In fact, most days I don’t even think about it. It’s just sometimes, once in a blue moon, I’m homesick.
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