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Topic #83 What’s the most on fire you’ve ever been? Figuratively, literally, whatever.

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Oh goodness me, such a loaded question, this one. What DOESN’T send my emotions raging?? I’m a markedly emotional person and at times the most obscure things will send me into fits of near hysteria. The well-being of the local spider population, the reasons for planes that leave that mysterious trail behind them (chem-trails), the quality of air all over the planet…just to name a few. Other things that leave me incensed are obvious: Hungry babies, crimes against innocent beings, poor quality drinking water, lack of education worldwide, stupidity, ignorance, greed to a ridiculous psychologically disturbed degree, abuse in all forms. All of those things and more but I have to admit that the most “on fire” I get is when I think about my own personal situation. When I was single, before motherhood, I was relatively happy and carefree. I wanted few things for myself personally and was pleased with my life in general. Now that I have a little one (a most perfect creature of almost 20 months, who is the light of the light of my life) things have changed. I’m angry that I can’t give her what I’d like to. All I want is a tree in a yard on a little spot of Earth that is my own. We could have picnics and search out lady-bugs. Run and skin our knees without fear of stepping on a needle or condom. I’m sick with myself that I brought this little person into a situation that isn’t at all what I would’ve wanted for her. On the bright side, and there’s always a bright side, my husband is a wonderful father who treasures every moment with his little princess and we always have our cupboards full and our basic needs covered. For this I am eternally grateful and I’d never want to seem disappointed with my lot in life…it’s just that when I look into those lovely little eyes, that round chubby face, when those pink full-of-saliva-lips give me her kisses upon kisses, well I just want….more. For her.

Tears. Thanks a lot WordPress. Tomorrow I require a lighter topic, GOT IT??


About eid2323

I've got a lot to say. I guess that's why most people start a blog, right? They've got thoughts, ideas, gripes, whatever, that they feel they must share with the world. Kind of egotistical, no? I mean, who's really going to read this? Am I so interesting that I can hold your attention over the rest of the world wide web? Strange to think that it could be possible. If you've read this far, you should know a little 'about me' as this portion is titled. Ok so, I live in Central Italy with my husband and daughter. He's an Italian citizen, I'm an American citizen which makes our baby...doomed, as well has a dual citizen. The cultures do more than clash. They kick, bite, and beat the crap out of eachother. You have to have a very worldly outlook to marry someone from another country. People around the world are raised very differently from one another. What's perfectly normal in one area of the world is cause for major concern in another. I stand in front of the fan to cool off when it's August and the heat is insane and the humidity keeps you sticky 24 hours a day. My husband is convinced I've some sort of superhuman powers to not have caught some serious illness by doing this. Sound senseless, it is. Italians are full of ridiculous beliefs that hold no ground outside the land of make-believe and nut-cases. But who am I to tell anyone that the sayings of their great-great-great Aunt Maria are bullshit? So I just listen and nod. Well that brings you a bit up to speed on my current situation, yeah? Ok so, read me blog now kiddies. Toodaloo!

4 responses »

  1. Eva’s loved beyond measure. Can I get an Amen?

  2. I feel your pain. Glad you’re looking on the bright side though (that’s what I do). Your daughter appreciates the love more than anything else. Thanks for the read!

    The Other Side –

    • you came back! yay! i’m so pleased that you find my posts interesting enough to return to see what’s new. i’ll try to keep it interesting.

      and yes, my little girl…I hope she’ll always know that she is just everything to me.


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